My last post was almost five months ago. It was just before we left for the Orient and I had been diagnosed with FMD. I was gripped with fear and I let it get the best of me. Even though I said I had "put it in a box" and shelved it, that did not happen. We went to Japan and China, and I had moments where I'd forget, but the vacation was a melancholy time for me. There was no follow-up from the doctor that treated me in the hospital and I felt like I had been abandoned. When we were in Asia, my mother had a TIA and ended up at Toronto Western Hospital where she was treated by a doctor who, according to mom, was amazing. When I had to take mom in for a follow up appointment in October, I asked if he would take my case on and he agreed. My appointment with him was last week.
Dr. S. was amazing! He explained everything to us (Myron, as always, was by my side), and helped to put my worst fears to rest. I do have FMD in my carotid arteries, but I will probably live to a ripe old age and die with it, not FROM it. He is going to make sure that my renal artery isn't affected, something that the original doctor was supposed to do, but dropped the ball on.
The Pandora's Box.....it was that little box that I put my FMD in and put on a shelf. Except, I kept looking into the box and every time I looked, I panicked. The things that flew out of that box were awful. Irrational fear. Depression. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop from opening that damn box.
FMD is rare, affecting only 4% of the population and according to "Dr. Google" can be devastating. This is where my medical information was coming from...not from the doctor who treated me initially in hospital. Had she sat down with me in September, and actually discussed my condition, rather than just telling me what I had and drawing a misshapen artery, I might not have spent the last five months in a state of constant doom and gloom.
But now, the box is gone. I will always have FMD, but now I feel like it doesn't have me.
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