Reprieve

My mother is not yet done with this life.  We have just been through a horrendous three weeks with her in hospital, having contracted a very serious staph infection.  For a few days, it was touch and go...I was told to "prepare myself" by one of the doctors.  After three weeks, two hospitals and many incredible doctors, nurses and physiotherapists, our tough prairie girl is back home, albeit a little bit worse for wear.

At 86, every day that we have mom is a blessing.  I had honestly resigned myself to losing her and only wanted peace and comfort for her.  To watch someone suffering is the hardest thing.  She's stoic and always has been, but to have a chest tube drilled into your lung is no picnic.

As she began to recover, I spent many days and nights, cuddled up with her on her hospital bed, all the while avoiding drainage tubes and IV lines.  We talked about lots of things...Marika, Dad, The Blue Jays, her wishes for her "exit strategy" and how much we loved each other.  It becomes simple.  Love is what is most important.  According to mom, her goal in life was met...she lived to see me happy in my life and she was able to see her granddaughter grow into an amazing young woman.  How simple is that?  No bucket list.  No regrets.  Nothing for herself.  All for us.

During the course of her hospital stay, there were many xrays and CT scans.  An unexpected discovery was a mass on one of her kidneys, that the doctors believe is probably malignant.  Mom has decided, along with the doctor's advice, to "leave well enough alone"... in the doctor's opinion, she wouldn't survive the operation to remove the kidney.  It is likely she will die with the mass, not of it.

Mom is now home and recovering her strength.  We are so lucky to be able to have her in her own home, with 24 hour care supplied by two amazing personal care workers with me filling in the gaps.

I know I can't expect her to live forever, but for now, we've been granted a reprieve.  For now.